I haven’t posted a pregnancy update in a while, but I’m here to share my latest milestone with you now. I am officially in the third trimester! And I feel …. Exactly the same as I have been feeling. Some days I feel great! I feel like I’m not even pregnant! Other days I feel wiped out and huge and sore and just generally uncomfortable. And most of the time, when I feel one way I completely forget that I ever felt the other way.
Everything seems to be happening so quickly this time around. Last time time just seemed to creep by. This time I find myself wondering where the hell the time is going. When I remark about how fast it feels like it’s moving, I get very little agreement from Jeremy. He does not share my shock and awe over the swift passage of pregnancy time. It must be moving more slowly for him. Maybe it’s a first vs. second pregnancy thing. First pregnancies seem slow, second seems fast. This is his first, after all.
So eleven more weeks (give or take two weeks or so) before baby is here. It’s hard to imagine how this is going to reshape our family dynamic. As it gets closer I feel less and less fear over it. It’s not that my confidence is growing, but more a sense of acceptance. I am coming to simply accept that our family dynamic is going to be very different, I don’t know how, and I don’t know what the adjustment is going to look like, but worrying about it is not going to change anything, so why bother?
I am noticing that Elijah seems to be getting antsy over the baby’s approach. He’s been much more snuggly, getting into bed with us more often, holding hands more often, insisting upon being in laps more often, and wanting to be skin to skin. The other day, he actually tried to nurse on me, which was weird. If he even remotely remembered how, I would have let him, but he doesn’t, and it hurts. My mom warned me he might want to nurse when the baby comes but I didn’t think so. Now I’m thinking she might be right. It is so important that we work to make sure Elijah still feels loved and nurtured when the baby comes. He is such a sensitive little spirit, and he needs lots of love. I want to make sure he gets what he needs in the most healthy and balanced way possible for everyone in the family.
He is excited though, and has expressed his desire to be there when the baby is born, which makes me happy. The other day, in fact, he told me “Mommy, I want to stand under your butt and hug the baby.”
Confused, I told him it would probably be better if he hugged the baby through my tummy, and lifted my shirt so he could do that. He shook his head “No. I want to stand under your butt when the baby falls out, and catch it.”
My heart about melted! I explained to him that Katherine, our midwife, will probably be catching the baby, but that he could be right there next to us, and hug the baby right away. I’m glad he is so excited for the baby to come, and feels he’s an important part of this process. I think he is important to the baby as well, since the baby responds to the sound of his voice more than anyone else’s. I tell Elijah every day how much the baby loves him already.
At this point I also find myself thinking of all I want/need to do in these final eleven weeks. Get the birth kit, get the birth pool, get a maternity swimsuit for my trip to Florida, set up our diaper service, paint the crib and rocking chair, sew, sew, sew, sew, sew, get my garden planted, get some food preserved, get some freezer meals set up, etc. I’m hoping people will bring us meals after the baby is born. We don’t need a lot, baby gear wise, but not having to cook or do as many dishes after the baby comes would be an amazing help. We bought a baby hammock off of Craigslist and got a baby bouncy chair from those people as well. I found a killer diaper bag that I think I’ll be proud to tote around with me for the next couple of years (it’s actually a purse, but really what’s the difference?). Jeremy’s mom procured us a used crib that should suit our purposes just fine, we’d just like to paint it (I’m thinking grey). I even got a free, brand new Boppy by doing some product testing for the company. If the baby came tomorrow, we’d be in okay state, I think (since if the baby came tomorrow we’d be in the hospital and wouldn’t need the birth kit). Babies really don’t need much.
That’s where we are with the pregnancy so far. I’m still enjoying it, and hope I will continue to be able to for the next all too short weeks. Before I know it this baby is going to be wiggling on the outside of me, and I’m going to be sitting around wondering how that 40ish weeks passed so quickly. At least this time I’m recognizing it as it’s happening, so I can take the time to really appreciate pregnancy while it’s here. It’s so short, in the scheme of things.