I have, I think, gone overboard on Christmas this year. Money is tight, and I’m spending most of it on gifts (not my upcoming wedding, which is probably an even more frivolous way to consume mindlessly). What is wrong with me? I haven’t even been looking at Freecycle postings. My plans to make most stuff at home have fallen to the wayside, as I buy Elijah a Bilibo, a recycled plastic truck (which is it’s self a recycling truck!), clothes, Transformer toys, Iron Man toys, and now I have to stuff his stocking to boot! I have a lot more people to buy for this year as well, Jeremy (who’s getting a few gifts, as well as a stuffed stocking), and his family. When I stop to think about how much I’m buying, I feel a little ashamed. Especially after reading this article from Sojourners today, and realizing that I haven’t even been going to church this Advent season. I’ve just fallen into the American trap of buying Christmas happiness.
And I’d be lying if I said it didn’t give me a fair bit of pleasure. I know it’s not supposed to. I know it doesn’t really fill any gaping holes in my soul, but it’s so damn fun to buy stuff for your kids! It’s like a drug. Why is it so easy to part with money this time of year? Every penny I’m facing down for wedding spending is like a villain. There are tumble weeds rolling between us as we stand prepared to draw. I hate the thought of spending that money. But oh, when it comes time to buy Jeremy a video game, and Elijah an action figure from a movie I don’t even want him watching, oh, how the money joyfully flies out of my pocket.
What is wrong with me? I need to turn this Christmas around right now. We’ll make a home made meal for Christmas Even dinner, and a home made breakfast. I will try to make more home made gifts as well, in these last (eek!) 13 days until Christmas. I need to feel good about what I’m doing this year, I don’t want to sell myself out in the face of wedding planning.