Okay, it’s been a long time. This semester in school was killer. I took only three classes, but one of them, my Spanish class, was a 5 credit class (compared to the standard 3 credit classes, for those of you who aren’t familiar with college) and it was condensed into five weeks. I became so overwhelmed I was sure my grades were going to be horrible, but today I got them back and was so pleasantly surprised I almost peed myself.
- Math – A
- Women’s Studies – A
- Spanish (the one I was certain I got a D in, and was debating as to whether or not I should retake the class) – B
So I’m very, very happy. This is the best semester I’ve ever had. The second best I ever had was two A’s, a B and a C. Last semester I got two A’s, a C and a D (significantly more disappointing).
I love being in school, even if I’m struggling. I loved it even last semester, with that C (damn you Spanish!!) and that D (double damn you, literature!!). I love feeling like I’m expanding my mind, and that I’m working towards a goal, and that I’m giving my life real purpose. My full time job with the Guard just wasn’t giving me a sense of purpose. I know other people find their life meaning in those kinds of jobs, and that’s great, but it just wasn’t for me. I am so happy to be where I am now in life.
I have also been working hard at doula stuff, although I have only attended one birth so far this summer. I have several coming up in the next few months. I am also really loving sitting in on a Bradley Childbirth Education Class. I am learning a lot, and I’m getting to know some great people. I love the world of birth and the world of natural health so much, I am so glad I’ve found my niche in life.
In other news, I’ve been working hard training for that marathon I swore I’d run by the time my son was two
(he’s going to be 3 in November, so I’m just barely going to meet my goal). I run every Sunday, and try to make it out every Tuesday, Thursday and Friday as well. Sunday is my long run. Last week I ran 13.2 miles. In St. Louis no less. It’s terribly humid in Missouri, which makes it feel terribly hot (even if it’s not really) if you’re not used to it. One thing I liked about running in Missouri was that there aren’t a lot of runners out. Here at home I can’t run 10 feet without passing another runner, then feeling all self conscious because I’m not as fast as them or as fit as them or as tan as them or whatever. I don’t have any professional running clothes or anything like that, I just run in my old PT shorts and old t-shirts (most of them sporting logos for hippy bands). I’m the worlds biggest running bum out here, but in St. Louis, I was pretty much the only runner, so it didn’t matter if I was slow and dressed like a bum.
Something I don’t like about running in St. Louis is the fact that the streets aren’t very pedestrian friendly. They are very, very narrow and most of them do not have sidewalks, let alone bike lanes or wide shoulders, which I am used to in Denver. I brought this up with my sister perhaps one too many times, I think she wasn’t laughing about it anymore when she said “There’s no need for sidewalks here because there’s no need to walk. Everybody drives.”
I thought, “I can see that. That’s the problem.” But I didn’t say it. When I was out running, though, I was really thinking about that logic. People in Colorado don’t walk or ride bikes because they need to. They do it because they like to, or because it’s good exercise, or because it gets them out interacting in their community, or because they want to appreciate their beautiful surroundings, or something like that. There’s a part of me that really hates St. Louis (only because I have some really negative childhood memories of the place), and that part of me says “If I lived in St. Louis, I’d never go outside either.” But the truth is that St. Louis is a beautiful place, and if you’re used to it, the weather really isn’t that oppressive. When I was out running, I saw an owl, some kind of falcon, a dove and a cardinal. I appreciated a plethora of beautiful and interesting trees and flowers the likes of which you’d never see out here in arid Colorado. There is no reason not to go outside, be fit, to interact with your community and appreciate your surroundings in St. Louis. But few people do those things there. Why?
Is it because their roads are so narrow, and so few have sidewalks? Are the people of St. Louis not active outdoors because of poor city planning? Or was the city planned that way because the people of St. Louis are not active outdoors? It’s sort of a chicken or the egg type of thing.
The garden is doing very well this year. I think I’m only a couple weeks away from a ginormous tomato crop. Zucchinis are going crazy already. We’ve had quite a few anaheim and poblano peppers, and the pumpkins, squash, melons and cucumbers are out of control. The corn is doing terribly. I will plant it on the other side of my garden next year. I’m getting ready to plant my fall crops.
Our bees are doing well, I think. They’d probably be doing better if we’d stop bugging them. The past two times we’ve opened the hive we’ve knocked large amounts of comb off. Last time it was just honey comb, we salvaged what we could and now have a small jar of honey. The time before that, though, it was two large combs full of brood. I killed a bunch of baby bees! I felt like bee Hitler. It was terrible!
Jeremy (my boyfriend) gave me a bike. But it’s in his garage, so I’m not riding it yet. He had to fix the tires, but I think he’s probably going to keep it at his house as a way to lure me there more often. Not that he has to lure me. Ha ha. We’ve been seeing each other almost a year now. It will be a year next month. He is a good guy. I can’t wait to start being one of those people who rides a bike everywhere. I do love him for more than his bicycular gifts.
Elijah is 70% potty trained. I’m not stressing about it. He sleeps in his own bed fine when we are at Jeremy’s house for the weekend. At home he doesn’t like to sleep in the crib, but I like to snuggle him at night so I don’t mind him still sleeping with me. A friend gave us her son’s old toddler bed yesterday though, and Elijah has shown interest in sleeping in it. I am so glad for our time spent cosleeping.
When I look at Elijah, he doesn’t look like a baby anymore. He’ll be three in November, and the transformation from toddler to little boy is almost complete. I miss my baby, but I love seeing him more grown up, and being able to have conversations with him. I love his creative play, and I’m seeing distinct interests taking shape, mainly an interest in art and naturalism. I hope to take him camping some time next month.
I realized the other day that I am the happiest I’ve ever been in my life right now. That is an amazing thing to realize. Some days are rough, and some are stressful, but I am so grateful for every moment, and over all, I am so happy when I go to bed each night. To think of all I’ve been through, and there were times when it seemed like I’d never be happy again. I hope that there is a way I can tell every woman who is alone and pregnant, or with a child, and so sure there will never be a light at the end of the tunnel, that there is hope, and there is a light, if you just have faith and fill yourself with love and passion and gratitude.
There’s my cheesy rant for the day.
Sleep tight everyone! I’m off to cuddle my baby!