When I was deployed in 2004-05, I was outnumbered by men 75 to 1. Despite this staggering ratio, nearly every man I was deployed with expected that they would hook up with someone while they were there (marital status – theirs or the women they were after – was of little consequence to them). More astounding than that, many of the men looking to hook up would accept nothing less than the five or so women in our camp who were remarkably, exceedingly beautiful.
What in gods name, I wondered, could lead these men to believe they could achieve their sexual goals? I mean, if I were in a room with 74 other women and Brad Pitt, I would not expect to be the one to hook up with him. I mean, my odds seem pretty slim to begin with, not to mention I am aware of the fact that I’m not exactly in Brad Pitt’s league. Do men not have that same reasoning process that I have?
Apparently not. Since I began paying attention to men and society at large (which, like it or not, is still run by men) one thing has become abundantly clear to me. The vast majority of men, fat or thin, tall or short, rich or poor, believe there is something special about them. They believe that there is some super signal emanating from them that sets them apart from all the rest of the retards in the world (who, incidentally, believe they too are somehow “special”), and will somehow enable them to hook up with whatever super hot chick they desire. They believe that no woman could possibly resist them, and every woman they encounter wants nothing more than to be lucky enough for him to choose her to sleep with.
Men must be delusional.
Earth to all the men in the world, you are no Adonis (those of you who are, there’s probably something else wrong with you, so don’t get all smug yet). Furthermore, no matter how many young, hot women you see with men who are old, fat, balding, dorky, piggish or some combination of these traits, on TV, in real life women actually do give a shit what their partner looks like … just like you do.
Are we shallow? No more so than men are. In fact, women will make acceptions to the rules of physical attraction if a man has wealth or power, men usually are on only one track when it comes to being shallow. Women are also usually more aware of what league they are in, where as men all seem to think they’re the cream of the crop.
I can sort of see where men get this idea from. On TV, all the time, I see really beautiful women paired with really average (or less) men. And boys aren’t bombarded with the kind of self-loathing propaganda that girls are from a young age. But you would think that a year or two after puberty the truth would become clear. Girls, just like boys, want to have a mate who is at least as attractive as they are. If a man is not going to be attractive, he better have something else to offer, most often money, power or fame.
There are women out there who don’t care if you’re an ugly, jobless pig, of course. These are women who feel so shitty about themselves that they’ll settle for anything. Rest assured, if you are an ugly, jobless pig, the only women you’re getting are settling, and you are “anything”. (In all fairness, that is a two way street, the only men who will date a woman who is an ugly, bitchy pig is one that feels so shitty about himself he’ll settle for anything.) Women who feel that shitty about themselves usually have good reasons, of course, an ugly, jobless pig isn’t settling when he hooks up with that kind of woman; that’s the best he can do.
See, here’s the point of all this. I have seen a lot of really nice, wonderful, average looking guys completely overlook really nice, wonderful, average looking girls who are totally into them, just because they think they can get a super model. Then I hear them bitching that all women are shallow. Yeah, all the women you’re going after are shallow. So are you. If you want women to overlook your physical imperfections, you sure as hell better be willing to overlook a few yourself.
I also have seen a lot of really good guys who take awful care of themselves get turned down again and again, then complain that women are shallow. But really, would you want to date a woman as slobby as you are? Not only is total unkemptness (physically or in your life in general) a turnoff, but its also terribly disrespectful. When you are a slob all the time, what you’re telling women is that she should have no standards, that she should spread her legs for what ever disgusting slob comes around. I’m not saying you should always look perfect or that you should go metrosexual, but putting a little effort forth more often than not makes a big difference in the eyes of women. I mean, I dig a dude in flannel, and he doesn’t have to shave every day, but I think he should know the appropriate times to clean up and he should do so nicely (jeans are not formal wear).
So listen up, all the men in the world, unless you’re in a situation where the men outnumber the women 75 to 1 (if you are, you’re pretty much screwed), there is something you can do to increase your chances of hooking up with awesome, beautiful women. Expand your definition of what beautiful is, beautiful women come in all shapes, sizes, colors, and styles. Put a little effort into making yourself physically attractive, you might up your playing field a little. Put a little extra effort into having other traits to offer women, such as stability and support, being a handyman or good with kids, or having a great sense of humor.
Women try really hard to be the best that they can for the man who is lucky enough to be chosen by her. We expect the same out of you.