Yes, eventually every child will.

I cosleep. That is to say, Elijah sleeps in bed with me. Many doctors say this increases the risk of SIDS, just as many say it decreases the risks, but most say its a sleeping option no better or worse than any other, provided proper safety precautions are taken (for example, never cosleep if anyone in the bed has been drinking). I find it much easier than putting Elijah in the crib, when he wakes up in the middle of the night, I just roll over and pop my boob in his mouth. Furthermore, he has never slept any other way (I’m starting to think the crib was a big waste of money, I’m just glad I got it used). I’m not going to say cosleeping is right for everyone, but its certainly right for me and my son.

When I was visiting my sister in Missouri after her baby was born, I found a book of mom tips her friends out there had put together for her. In it, several of her friends instructed her not to ever let her daughter sleep in bed with her because she would never stop sleeping in her bed if she starts.

Well I’ve got news for those people. Eventually all children are going to want to masturbate, and they won’t want to do it in bed with their parents. At that point (at the very latest) cosleeping will certainly end. But the fact of the matter is that children usually want to start sleeping in their own beds as toddlers, without any prodding from their parents.

So anyone who tells you that if you let your child sleep in your bed that they’ll never want to sleep on their own is an idiot. Cosleeping has many benefits, including (but not limited to)

  • Greater ease for parents, because when the baby wakes up in the middle of the night, you don’t have to get out of bed to tend to your baby
  • Helps baby develop feelings of security
  • Promotes healthy attachment
  • Increases milk production and supports healthy breastfeeding
  • Allows parents to get more sleep
  • Strengthens bonding
  • Allows you to wake up to the sweetest image in the world every morning

About Rockingthehomestead

Badass feminist environmentalist.
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8 Responses to Yes, eventually every child will.

  1. Katy says:

    As a mother who cosleeps with her child I can tell you that they DO NOT all decided to start sleeping in their own bed as toddlers. My daughter is 9 and on the nights that I let her, she still sleeps in my bed. She would probably sleep in my bed every single night if I didn’t kick her out every now and then. That said though, I agree that cosleeping is the way to go if you ever want to get some sleep when you have a new born. I just don’t want you to think that at 2 Elijah is going to walk down the hall and start sleeping in his own bed every night with out a fight. He might, every kid is different, but I wouldn’t say that is the rule.

  2. Jessica says:

    I’ve read that around two or three is the average, of course its not every case. My mother coslept with us, and I know I almost never wanted to sleep in my moms bed when I was 9. The only time I would sleep in her bed by that point was if I had a nightmare or something. My sister was exactly the same as me.
    Of course, when I was pregnant I did kind of want to sleep in bed with my mom. It was like I reverted to an emotional three year old. I was very lonely and depressed through a good portion of my pregnancy.
    Anyway, the point of this post was that at the very latest, around the time your child starts “discovering him or her self” they’re not going to want to sleep in your bed anymore. Its a flat out lie that if you let your child sleep in your bed with you they will never leave. If they’re not out by the time they’re teenagers, theres bigger problems with them than the sleep arrangement.

  3. Katy says:

    I diffently think it depends on how you handle the situation. I have heard, and seen horror stories of kids who are still sleeping with mom and dad and they flip out when they are told they have to stay in their own bed. I’ve never had that issue with my daughter. If I tell her she has to sleep in her own bed she does with out a problem, but she still asks and she still does sleep with me. Its usually when one of us has been gone, if I’ve been working late or if she has been at her dad’s.

    Now that I’m thinking about it, it probably has more to do with over all discipline and your relationship with your kid than the cosleeping itself.

    Anyway, I agree that people who say that cosleeping is evil are wrong. Like everything its how you handle the situation that matters.

  4. Crystal says:

    I co-slept with my son, until he woke up before me, crawled over the pillow and landed straight on his head. That was around 7 months of age. After one night of fussing, he has been sleeping in his own room. I of course still have trouble sleeping without him in the same room, and I have tried to get him to sleep with me on nights I am home at his bed time. And he would rather sleep in his own bed or on the couch. He is 20 months old now and has been in a toddler bed for about a month and a half now. He was ready to not sleep with momma way before I was ready to give him up.

  5. arduous says:

    Heh. Neither me nor my sister ever wanted to stop sleeping in my parents’ bed. When we were five, my parents issued a series of punishments and bribes to get us out of the bed. My sister wouldn’t respond to anything but barbies. But for five brand new barbie dolls she was finally willing to sleep in her own bed.

    I still think there’s nothing wrong with co-sleeping with an infant, but I don’t think you should just wait for your child to decide to sleep on his/her own either.

  6. Lucille says:

    My son is 5 and he still cosleeps. There was a brief period when he was 3.5 that he started sleeping in his own bed and would wander into our room at around 2-3 in the a.m. and crawl in, and then one night, he was sick and it was just easier to just let him stay. And stay he has 🙂

    Personally, I don’t have a problem with it. Most of the world cosleeps, all ages. It’s really only the Western world who feels that every person must be sequestered in their own bed in different corners of the house. Most people in the world only have one bed, or one room for that matter! And everyone is all together.

    Do I think I am messing my son up by cosleeping? I don’t think so. And I believe at the very least babies should cosleep, with precautions.

  7. MarkO says:

    Whatever works to get the kids to sleep, that’s all I care about.

  8. jessimonster says:

    Okay, I think a lot of you are missing the primary point of this post. To say that a child “will never stop sleeping in your bed” means that they will not ever sleep anywhere else. Do you honestly believe when your son is 15 he is going to want to sleep in bed with his mommy and daddy? No. He’s going to want to be in his own bed so that he won’t be as humiliated if he has a wet dream.
    “Never sleep anywhere else” means your child will still be sleeping with you when he is 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, and so on until either you or he dies. Never means not ever. It means always. Sleeping with your parents until you were 5, or even 9, does not mean you never slept anywhere else. Obviously, you stopped sleeping with your parents and started sleeping in your own bed.
    When I meet the person who is 60 and still sleeping in bed with their parents, I will change my viewpoint. For now I maintain that the minute your child gets to the age where they want to masturbate, they will stop sleeping in your bed. And yes, every child will eventually want to masturbate. Your precious little angel is no different.

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