How I came to be a mother

When I found out I was pregnant, I was in a miserable relationship.  We had not been together very long, only a few months, and I was thinking of cutting it off. 

I had been on birth control, and our sex life had not exactly been good, so I had no idea a pregnancy was even possible.  My boyfriend, perplexed by why I had been so emotional, started saying he thought I was pregnant weeks before I took the test.  My only thought was “Yeah right.  We’ve screwed once this month, and you didn’t even finish.  How could that even be possible”, so eventually I took a test to prove him wrong.

But he wasn’t wrong, and I was devastated.  This meant that I had a very hard choice to make.  It was harder even than I imagined it would be.  I have always been pro choice, but I realized that abortion was not the right choice for me.  After all, it was next to impossible that I could have even conceived, what with the birth control pill and the lack of sex.  Surely this child must be meant to be.  Furthermore, I had a good job and a supportive family, there was really no reason for me not to have this baby that wasn’t purely selfish.

Upon making that choice, I now had to face another awful decision.  How hard would I try to salvage the relationship I was in, how much was worth putting up with, and how much would be detrimental to my child’s well being?  It became obvious pretty soon that the father was not only worthless, but harmful to my well being and the well being of the baby, so I left him.

I moved in with my mother, who has been a wonderful support for me.  She was an amazing birth partner (I’ll post my birth story here later), is a great day care provider and a loving Grammy to my little boy.  There has been a lot of ups and downs since I had him, but I wouldn’t change a thing in the world.

Except maybe to make him a redhead.

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About Rockingthehomestead

Badass feminist environmentalist.
This entry was posted in Babies and Kids, Pregnancy, Single Mom and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to How I came to be a mother

  1. Redheads are more interesting 😉

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