Checked out July 24, 2008

I have been having the hardest time the past few weeks.  I’m tired of my full time job, I’m hoping I can quit it soon and go back to being a traditional Guardsman (that means I’ll only do my one weekend a month and two weeks in the summer, as opposed to being in uniform all the time, like I am now).  I’m dieing to go back to school full time (I was not cut out for online classes, especially not online science classes).  I’m sick of my hour long commute.

A friend of mine wrote to me a few days ago and said he had “Senioritus” (the condition that seniors get a month or two before graduating) because he was quitting his job in a few days to go back to grad school, and his head just wasn’t in it anymore.  I guess I’m experiencing the same thing, only I don’t know if I can quit my job to go back to school full time, so I really shouldn’t be feeling this way.  I also have just lost motivation for my work in general, and its affecting the quality of my work.

I hate my job.  It blows dogs for quarters.  They’ve been really supportive of me through my pregnancy and everything, but I have no benefits, no opportunity for advancement, and I’m not taken seriously around here anymore.  Its time to move on.

Plus I’ve been under a lot of stress lately.  My daycare provider fell ill and is no longer going to be able to care for Elijah.  I’m sad, mainly because Elijah loves her so much, and I felt so good about leaving him there.  I also feel bad because she is going to be moving in with her daughter now, and I know that she doesn’t want to lose her independence.  I am very glad that she is not seriously ill though.  She was in the hospital for a while, and we were really worried about her.

Also, Elijah is sleeping worse and worse at night.  I’m working on getting him to sleep better, but its hard.  A bunch of people recommended the No Cry Sleep Solution to me, and it seems pretty good so far (I’ll write a book review on it once I can report as to how well the solutions it presents works), but I’m worried that Elijah is one of those babies the book talks about that will never sleep through the night until I move him to his own bed/crib.  Some nights I think it would be really nice to have my bed to myself again, but I know I’d miss snuggling up to him.

There are other issues stressing me out as well, but I don’t want to write about them for fear they will jinx me.  I’m a very superstitious person.  Hopefully I will be able to report on some of them tomorrow.

Anyway, my brain is just not in it today.  Nor has it been in a week or so.  I’m totally checked out. If I could lay in bed all day and snuggle my son, I would.  Seriously.

Wow, there’s a streak on my computer screen that’s shaped like a penis.  That’s weird.

Everyone, please, say a prayer or whatever for me to be able to quit my job after the DNC and go back to school full time.  If I finish my degree, I can get out of the Army.  I want out.  I want to stop worrying about how many push ups I can do (its not much).  I want to re-pierce my nose and start wearing ear rings again.  I want to have the weekend of my birthday off every year (I always, always, always have drill over my birthday weekend).  I don’t want to leave my son for a year to deploy. 

Plus, and I almost hate to write this down for the whole world to see, but I know I’ll never get married if I stay in the military.  Marriage isn’t my top priority, or anything, and God knows I certainly don’t want to go rushing into anything, but one day I’d like to get married and have more kids.  I don’t want to marry a man in the military because there is too much adultery going on in the military.  Sorry to all you service members who are faithful.  You know that, sadly, you are vastly outnumbered.  I don’t want to take chances with that one.  The trouble is, not a lot of civilian dudes are willing to wait around for a chick during their deployment.  So there, I said it.  I want to get out so I have a chance of getting married one day.

I need to get some glass cleaner for my screen, this is really bothering me.

My message to all the men in the world July 22, 2008

When I was deployed in 2004-05, I was outnumbered by men 75 to 1.  Despite this staggering ratio, nearly every man I was deployed with expected that they would hook up with someone while they were there (marital status - theirs or the women they were after - was of little consequence to them).  More astounding than that, many of the men looking to hook up would accept nothing less than the five or so women in our camp who were remarkably, exceedingly beautiful. 

What in gods name, I wondered, could lead these men to believe they could achieve their sexual goals?  I mean, if I were in a room with 74 other women and Brad Pitt, I would not expect to be the one to hook up with him.  I mean, my odds seem pretty slim to begin with, not to mention I am aware of the fact that I’m not exactly in Brad Pitt’s league.  Do men not have that same reasoning process that I have?

Apparently not.  Since I began paying attention to men and society at large (which, like it or not, is still run by men) one thing has become abundantly clear to me.  The vast majority of men, fat or thin, tall or short, rich or poor, believe there is something special about them.  They believe that there is some super signal emanating from them that sets them apart from all the rest of the retards in the world (who, incidentally, believe they too are somehow “special”), and will somehow enable them to hook up with whatever super hot chick they desire.  They believe that no woman could possibly resist them, and every woman they encounter wants nothing more than to be lucky enough for him to choose her to sleep with.

Men must be delusional. 

Earth to all the men in the world, you are no Adonis (those of you who are, there’s probably something else wrong with you, so don’t get all smug yet).  Furthermore, no matter how many young, hot women you see with men who are old, fat, balding, dorky, piggish or some combination of these traits, on TV, in real life women actually do give a shit what their partner looks like … just like you do.

Are we shallow?  No more so than men are.  In fact, women will make acceptions to the rules of physical attraction if a man has wealth or power, men usually are on only one track when it comes to being shallow.  Women are also usually more aware of what league they are in, where as men all seem to think they’re the cream of the crop.

I can sort of see where men get this idea from.  On TV, all the time, I see really beautiful women paired with really average (or less) men.  And boys aren’t bombarded with the kind of self-loathing propaganda that girls are from a young age.  But you would think that a year or two after puberty the truth would become clear.  Girls, just like boys, want to have a mate who is at least as attractive as they are.  If a man is not going to be attractive, he better have something else to offer, most often money, power or fame.

There are women out there who don’t care if you’re an ugly, jobless pig, of course.  These are women who feel so shitty about themselves that they’ll settle for anything.  Rest assured, if you are an ugly, jobless pig, the only women you’re getting are settling, and you are “anything”.  (In all fairness, that is a two way street, the only men who will date a woman who is an ugly, bitchy pig is one that feels so shitty about himself he’ll settle for anything.)  Women who feel that shitty about themselves usually have good reasons, of course, an ugly, jobless pig isn’t settling when he hooks up with that kind of woman;  that’s the best he can do.

See, here’s the point of all this.  I have seen a lot of really nice, wonderful, average looking guys completely overlook really nice, wonderful, average looking girls who are totally into them, just because they think they can get a super model.  Then I hear them bitching that all women are shallow.  Yeah, all the women you’re going after are shallow.  So are you.  If you want women to overlook your physical imperfections, you sure as hell better be willing to overlook a few yourself.

I also have seen a lot of really good guys who take awful care of themselves get turned down again and again, then complain that women are shallow.  But really, would you want to date a woman as slobby as you are?  Not only is total unkemptness (physically or in your life in general) a turnoff, but its also terribly disrespectful.  When you are a slob all the time, what you’re telling women is that she should have no standards, that she should spread her legs for what ever disgusting slob comes around.  I’m not saying you should always look perfect or that you should go metrosexual, but putting a little effort forth more often than not makes a big difference in the eyes of women.  I mean, I dig a dude in flannel, and he doesn’t have to shave every day, but I think he should know the appropriate times to clean up and he should do so nicely (jeans are not formal wear).

So listen up, all the men in the world, unless you’re in a situation where the men outnumber the women 75 to 1 (if you are, you’re pretty much screwed), there is something you can do to increase your chances of hooking up with awesome, beautiful women.  Expand your definition of what beautiful is, beautiful women come in all shapes, sizes, colors, and styles.  Put a little effort into making yourself physically attractive, you might up your playing field a little.  Put a little extra effort into having other traits to offer women, such as stability and support, being a handyman or good with kids, or having a great sense of humor.

Women try really hard to be the best that they can for the man who is lucky enough to be chosen by her.  We expect the same out of you.

Happy long weekend! May 23, 2008

For those of you who don’t know, I work four tens (four days a week, ten hours a day), which means every weekend is a three day weekend for me. Because I work for the government, they also always give us an additional day off when there’s a government holiday, which means no work for me today! Woohoo! Four day weekend! Anyway, I thought I’d share my weekend plans with you all, in case any of you in Denver would like to attend.

First, I’m going to the Memorial Day Parade tomorrow morning. Ugh.  I’m actually going to be working while I’m there. I have to take photos of all the Guard events. Gen. Edwards is going to be doing a presentation after the parade to remember Maj. Perry Jefferson. He was the Colorado Guard’s last MIA, he went missing in Vietnam 30 years ago. His remains were found and identified last year, and he was laid to rest in Arlington in April. It was very moving, here’s a link to the article about it.

Then, tomorrow evening, I’m going to the Colorado Local First Kickoff Party in Old Town Arvada. It starts at 4 at The D Note (7519 Grandview Ave, Arvada, CO 80002). Its all ages, and looks like it will be loads of fun. I’ll be there with my mom and my aunt, as well as my son in a snuggly. I’ll probably be the only tall redhead with a baby there.  Here’s a link to Colorado Local First.

Then on Monday, I’m running the Boulder Boulder. I use the term “running” loosely. I’ve never been to the Boulder Creek Festival before, but I hear its fun.

That’s it. That’s all my plans. Unless my sister goes into labor, of course, then all bets are off. Have a super Memorial Day weekend, don’t drive to much, and remember to wear sunscreen! I’ll post pictures next week.

Make that 100% positive May 15, 2008

I’m not re enlisting.  I have no health insurance, get no bonuses, I’m not even entitled to full education benefits while I work for the guard full time.  I can get a job that offers this anywhere, and with any one of those jobs I won’t be expected to periodically spend a year away from my family in a war zone.

They just don’t give you much incentive to stay in, do they?

We’re doing push ups at work May 14, 2008

I hate pushups.  But I need to do them.

I have decided (about 85%) that I am not going to re enlist in the military unless they offer me a fat bonus.  I’m talking 15k +.  I have also decided that I am going to do everything in my power to go to Naropa.  More on all of this later, I have to go to a doctors appointment.

Green moves that are good for your wallet and/or waist line #1 - Driving the speedlimit May 8, 2008

This is a new series I’m going to start in the spirit of Green Up the Purchases You Already Make.  In the future, however, I’m going to label it GMGWW (Green Moves Good Wallet Waist, I’m cutting out the little words in the acronym, you don’t need them) because the whole title is too long.  And because I am in the military, and the military LOVES acronyms.  They’re like their own words in a secret, military language.

Anyway, today’s entry is driving the speed limit.

For every 5 miles per hour you go over 60mph, its like spending 20 cents more a gallon for gas.

I always knew that speeding reduced your fuel efficiency, but it wasn’t until I read that fact that I decided to do something about it.  I guess I just didn’t realize how bad the reduction in efficiency was before.  The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I couldn’t afford to spend 60 cents more a gallon just to go 75.  It wasn’t worth it.

So I started driving the speed limit.  Here in Denver, that means driving a good 10-15 miles slower than just about everyone else on the road, so that limits me to driving only in the right hand lane.  If I’m on a three or more lane highway I might venture out into one of the middle lanes, but I always stay close to the right.  Occasionally I do get stuck behind someone going slower than the speed limit and I go ahead and pass them on the left, then proceed to go right back into the slow lane, but to be honest, most of the time it doesn’t bother me.  I just stay behind them.  After all, 55 gives me even better fuel efficiency than 65 does.

I’m going to tell you now what I’ve learned.  Driving 75 does not get you there any faster than drivng 65 does.  Don’t ask me why this is, I think you might need a physicist to figure it out, but since I started driving the speed limit everywhere, my commute times for places I go on a regular basis (work, school, church, downtown, Buckley AFB, etc) has not changed.  Furthermore, I often pay close attention to who passes me up in the beginning of a trip, and within a few miles, without changing my speed, I usually catch back up to them eventually, or pass them.

We all know, of course, that driving faster increases your likelihood of getting into an accident and increases the liklihood of any accident you do get into being a fatal one, but I have also found that speeding increases my stress level.  Or, more accurately, I’ve found that going 65 reduces my stress levels (but I assume that my stress level before - when I regularly sped - was actually elevated, so in reality, driving speeding increased my stress level, and going back down to the speed limit brought it back down to more normal levels).  Where I used to get a little road ragey at times, I’m pretty chill for most of my driving now, and I have to be when there’s a crying baby in my back seat.  And when people pass me now, it seems like the natural thing to do.  Almost no one tail gates in the right lanes, and the rare person who does seems so idiotic that its easy to brush it off.

Stress is bad for your health all over, so where ever you can eliminate it, you should.  Stress has been shown to make it harder to lose weight, and it also makes it harder for you to sleep, wreaks havoc on your eating habits, and exhausts you so you aren’t as active, all things that are shown to make you gain weight.  It also causes acne and wrinkles, not to mention gives you all sorts of health disorders like high blood pressure and ulcers and can ultimately shorten your life.

Of course, you could have a much bigger impact on your wallet and waist line if you chose to bike or walk instead of driving entirely, but when that’s not possible (and it may never be possible for some of you, I understand) the next best thing you can do is drive the speed limit.

What the National Guard does April 18, 2008

I am in the Colorado Army National Guard, and lately it has become clear to me that most people out there don’t have the slightest clue what that means.  Some conversations I’ve had about it lately have initially offended me, but then I have to remind myself that a little over five years ago I was walking into a National Guard recruiting office to ask what it was myself.

So with that in mind, I thought I’d try my hand at explaining it to you all.

The National Guard consists of two branches, Air and Army.  We go through the same basic training as the Active duty Air Force and Army, we go through the same job training as the active duties, and we hold all the same jobs our active duty counter parts.

National Guardsmen deploy on the exact same federal missions as the Active Duty and Reserves.  Right now there are many Colorado Guardsmen deployed in support of Operation Enduring Freedom in Afghanistan and Guantanamo Bay, and there are CONG Guardsmen deployed in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom in Iraq.  There are probably CONG Guardsmen deployed elsewhere as well, but I don’t know about them.

In addition to federal missions, the National Guard also deploys for state emergencies.  Recent state missions for the CONG have included aiding the City of Alamosa with a water contamination, blizzard and tornado relief missions last year, Hurricane Katrina relief and forest fire relief the year before I joined (that’s part of what inspired me to join).  Active duty and reservists do not respond to state emergencies.  We are the first responders of the United States Military.  One of our most famous first responses in recent history is the deployment of National Guard troops to airports throughout the nation after 9/11.

Most of the time, Guardsmen function like Reservists.  We have duty one weekend a month, this is called drill.  We also have a two week period of duty called Annual Training (AT).  AT is traditionally conducted during the summer, though it can be done any time of year, and can even be broken up and done throughout the year in small bits.  During drill and AT most units do training, although some units, like mine, work on real world missions.

Every state has it’s own National Guard.  The commander in chief of the National Guard is the governor, not the president.  If the president wants to use the National Guard for a federal mission, he must ask the governors of the states for their permission to use them.  In essence, the governor lends us to the president.  This asking is really just a formality, as I don’t think there has ever been a governor that has said no.  Despite this, it is very important that the formality remain in place, because it is an important factor in maintaining sovereignty of state.  Each state is entitled to its own militia in order to defend itself against the federal government should it become oppressive.  Last year President Bush tried to bypass the asking permission step and make it so the National Guard could be pulled into federal service whenever the president decreed (as if he couldn’t get Guard troops any time he wanted them).  Hey Bush, while we’re at it, why don’t we just create one giant, massive federal government and usurp all power from the individual states?  Yeah, I’ll bet that’s something our founding fathers were down for.

The National Guard is arguably the oldest military force in the country.  The farmers and town folk who first picked up arms against the British in the days of the American Revolution were, after all, the very first Citizen Soldiers.  Those civilians who bore arms for our independence became the state militias, which eventually evolved into the National Guard as we know it today.

Here’s where it gets kind of confusing.  Most of us are whats called Mday Guardsmen, which means we are only on duty when we have drill, AT or are deployed.  Beyond that, most Guardsmen have civilian jobs that may or may not have anything to do with their job in the military (for example, there are dudes in the CONG’s Army Band who are cops, but there are also dudes in the band who are music teachers).  Some of us, on the other hand, have full time jobs working for the Guard.  Those people are either Active Guard Reserve (AGR), which means they get paid and benefits just like an Active Duty service member, or they are Technicians (that’s what I am) and I get paid on the Government Scale and am entitled to Government Scale benefits.  Civilian employees of the government also get paid on the Government Scale.  Although I am technically considered a civilian employee at my full time job at State Headquarters, I wear my uniform every day.  Not even I understand why.

Anyway, everyone should get to know and love their local National Guard, because we do double the duty for you, our countrymen, on less budget than the federal troops get.

In short, the National Guard is

• Soldiers and Airmen, just like the active duty.  We wear the same uniforms, do the same jobs and complete the same level of training.
• Troops used for federal missions, such as the War in Iraq and the War on Terrorism
• First responders for local, domestic disasters
• The oldest military force in the country

And, for the record, I am not exempt from deployments just because I am a single mother.  The only way I can avoid a deployment is if I am pregnant or had a baby in the last 4 months.  As a matter of fact, my unit just deployed to Iraq, and had they left just a week later, I would have gone with them.  My son was just a week away from being 4 months old when they left.  We were given a 60 day warning before this deployment.

How to be a liberal in the military February 23, 2008

Never, ever, under any circumstances reveal you are a liberal in the military unless it is to another liberal in the military.  This is not as daunting a task as it seems.  There are actually many liberals in the military, after all, rich people don’t join the military.

Sattelites February 20, 2008

I feel reasonably certain that if the military does not successfully shoot down that broken sattelite floating around up there that it is going to fall on me.