Hello out there

I’ll bet you guys though that when I lost my job that I’d be blogging more often.  Well, so did I.  But instead I’ve been spending more time playing with my son, hanging out with the Holistic Moms and pursuing some of my hobbies, such as cooking, crafting, reading and spending time outdoors.  Its been a very fulfilling lifestyle, and I wish it could last forever.

But, I know its not going to.  As we speak, I’m applying for a seasonal night time job and applying to go back to college next semester to finish my bachelors in environmental science.  Or I might change my major, considering that I don’t really intend to make a career out of anything I can major in at the Metropolitan State College of Denver.

I also really want to keep this blog active so I can share with the world what I’m doing now in my newer, better life.  I am probably getting out of the Army in January and I’m moving on to bigger and better things.  I am grateful for everything that the Army has given to me, but for this Soldier, it is time to move on.

I’m working very hard on a home made Christmas.  I have to be even more strict about it this year because my income has dropped so dramatically.  I’m also scouring Freecycle, and hopefully putting to good use what I learned last year in my first attempt at a Freecycle Christmas.

I’m trying to get more involved in community activities and I’m doing a lot of interviews for doula work.  I expect to be certified within the next six months.  I’m moving forward with my midwifery training, and feeling really good about the present.

I look forward to sharing all of this with you again!

Big Sale on Kids Gear in Denver this Weekend!

Check it out!

Birthday Wishes

Here are my birthday wishes for today, my 26th birthday.

• I wish everyone in this country had access to top quality health care.  Health care that includes as many holistic options as conventional ones.
• I wish single mothers got paid as much as married mothers.  I wish mothers got paid as much as single women.  And I wish all women got paid as much as men.
• I wish parents who abandoned their children would be held accountable for their actions, and that conservative talking heads would stop spouting cruelty about the parents who actually do stick around.
• I wish every consenting adult is able to make a legal commitment binding them in love to any other consenting adult.
• I wish the government would stop subsidizing junk food.
• I wish the whole world would go see Food Inc. and The Business of Being Born.
• I wish you would become a fan of Rock Your Birth Doula Services on Facebook.
• I wish all single moms, and especially all single pregnant women, would read Mari Gallion’s book, The Single Woman’s Guide to a Happy Pregnancy.
• I wish that President Obama would actually do something worth getting the Republicans this angry.
• I wish people would start voting for third parties.
• I wish world governments would take the 350 goals seriously.
• I wish Whole Foods hadn’t bought out Wild Oats, and Wild Oats hadn’t bought out Alfalfa’s.
• I wish Placebo hadn’t cancelled their American tour.
• I wish this country and culture would make ease of breast feeding for all women a top priority.
• I wish the United States had a maternity leave policy like Canada does.  One year off at 60% of your pay, plus one optional year off, unpaid.
• I wish mothering were recognized as the full time job that it is.
• I wish men would stop lying about how tall they are.
• I wish companies built consumer goods to last, instead of to break, become obsolete, or go out of style within a year or two (or less!).
• I wish we’d get serious about alternative fuel and energy resources.
• I wish CAFOs would go away.
• I wish we would crack down on companies who hire illegal immigrants, instead of cracking down on the illegal immigrants individually.  Companies who hire illegal immigrants usually do it so that they can commit grievous human rights violations without fear of penalty.
• I wish we focused more on Fair Trade and less on NAFTA.
• I wish all chemicals had to be tested for safety before they are put on the market in consumer goods.
• I wish drug companies weren’t allowed to advertise to the general public.
• I wish there were an ocean in Colorado, and also a place where avocados, bananas and citrus fruit would grow, then I would have no problem going to an entirely local diet.
• I wish I could speed read.
• I wish that I will be able to send Elijah to schools that don’t focus on standardized tests, especially not in Kindergarten.  On that note, I wish every parent in America would read Crisis in the Kindergarten.
• I wish I was a size 10 again.
• I wish my mouse would stop doing the weird stuff its doing.

Now I’m going to go make some potato soup for my birthday meal.  Yum.

90 Year Old Midwife Delivers Her Great Grandchild

What a fun story!

Mommy Multitasking – Reading While You Drive

I am dead serious about this.  I read while I drive.  Even when Elijah is in the car.

I know you’re all waiting for the punchline (if you haven’t guessed it yet), so here it is.  I’ve discovered audio books.

I love to read.  I always have.  I was reading before I was in school, and its always been my favorite past time.  I never thought I would ever stop reading.  Until I had a baby.

Maybe I didn’t stop reading entirely, but my reading time was severely cut back, and most of what I was reading was parenting books, and then doula books, and now midwifery books.  While I love reading this stuff, I miss reading fiction, and other subjects as far as non fiction goes.  But I was working more, commuting more, and when I got home, I had a baby to take care of.  When did I have time to read?  I did most of my reading while pumping breast milk at work, two or three half hour breaks a day (my work was super generous and accomodating for pumping milk, more companies should be like my work was).  Other than that, I didn’t get to pursue my favorite past time really at all.

At the same time that I had to give up one of my favorite past times, I had to increase one of my least favorite; driving to and from work.  I HATE commuting.  I’m not much of a fan of driving in general, but the worst is driving in rush hour on the way to or from a place you never really wanted to be in the first place.  I have a 50 minute commute to work in the morning and an hour commute home at night (traffic is better at 6:30 in the morning, when I leave, than it is at 5 in the evening, when I go home).  Trust me, if I could take the bus to and from work, I would, but there are no lines that will get me from my house to my work in a reasonable amount of time (less than three hours). 

Anyway, since discovering audio books, my commute is finally bearable.  In fact, some days I actually look forward to it.  And in the three months since I discovered audio books (or rather, discovered that I enjoyed audio books), I’ve read more than I have in the whole 18 months my son has been alive!

I got my first audio book quite accidentally.  My Holistic Moms Network group was doing a book club for the book A New Earth, by Eckhart Tolle.  I had heard a lot about this book and wanted to join them, but wasn’t sure if I’d actually finish it, and I didn’t want to spend money on the book if I wasn’t ever going to finish it.  One day at work, about half way through the month we were doing the book club, I got an email about a service that provides free audio books to service members through a service that works kind of like Netflix (they mail you the books, you listen, mail them back).  I checked out the selection.  It was mostly books on how to improve your leadership skills, not the kind of stuff I was interested in reading, but low and behold, there was A New Earth.  I signed up and ordered it, along with Total Money Makeover, The World is Flat, and An Inconvieniant Truth.

The first books that came in the mail were A New Earth and Total Money Makeover.  I listened to A New Earth First, and it didn’t take me long to realize that I was developing an obsession for audio books.  It was great!  I could drive and read!  There were so many more books I wanted to get under my belt!

Since the selection at 3Leaf Group (the Netflix like service) was pretty lame, I got the brilliant idea to see what kind of selection my local library had.  I had not had a library card for my local library since I was 15 years old.  I had abandoned my card after the Columbine shootings, because the park that Columbine High School and my local library were both in was closed up and police taped off for a month, and I was unable to return my library books, but they continued to charge me late fees!  I didn’t think I could get a new library card, but when I saw how good their audio book selection was, I had to try.  I signed up for a new card online, and picked it up on my way home from work.

I am just flabbergasted at how much reading I’ve gotten done for free, without sacrificing time from anywhere else in my life.  So far I have read:

• A New Earth, by Eckhart Tolle
• The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle
• Total Money Makeover, by Dave Ramsey
• The Red Tent, by Anita Diamant
• The Last Days of Dogtown, by Anita Diamant
• Midwives, by Chris Bohjalian
• The Botany of Desire, by Michael Pollan
• An Inconvieniant Truth, by Al Gore
• And I’m currently working on In Defense of Food, by Michael Pollan

I can’t get enough.  As I’m writing this, I have another window open to the Jefferson County Libraries website putting audio books on my hold list.  Even if you’re not a big fan of reading, I think audio books are a great option for you.  Its enough like reading to satisfy the bookworm, but its different enough from reading to entertain the person who prefers radio or television.  In fact, listening to an audio book is very much like listening to a radio program.  You can pick something funny, romantic, tragic, informative, whatever.  Who doesn’t like to have a story told to them?

I made myself into a superhero

While designing my superhero alter ego, I tried to think about what an eco nerd, natural birth advocating, lactivist, attatchment parenting, feminist superhero might look like.  Perhaps she would wear a hippy, wrap around skirt.  She would be clad in green.  She would carry a walking stick, made of sustainably grown bamboo (of course).

And what the hell? She would wear a monocle and have a skull on her costume.  Yeah!

Books for your kiddos

I’m sure I don’t have to tell all of you about the benefits of reading to your children.  Its a fun thing for the two of you to do together that has so many mental, emotional, and even physical benefits that not a single person in the world advocates against it.  Its pretty much the only parenting ideal that is universal.  Everybody, whether they advocate attatchment parenting, ferberization, or anything in between, agrees that reading to your kids is one of the best things you can do for them.

I love reading with Elijah (even though he really won’t sit still for a book, and he always wants to turn the pages before the page is up, then turn back a few pages, then turn forward a few pages).  I’m hoping that if I keep at it, one day he will love to sit and listen as much as I love to read.  A friend of mine had a great idea (it wasn’t my son that inspired it, he just applied the idea he already had to my son) … maybe he’d be more interested if the book were about him.

He had a point.  Elijah is really too young to know the plot line of a story, but he’ll sit still a lot longer to look at photo albums of himself.  Maybe in a year or so, a book about him would be a great idea.

My friend has just started a company that sells the most customizable children’s books available, MJM Books.  Not only can you choose the name and gender of the main character in the books, you can also design the character to look like your child!  Well, not exactly like your child, but close enough for your son or daughter to understand that its supposed to be them.

Its a cute gift idea for any kiddo, and I felt like doing a small plug for him here, because he is an old, dear friend of mine from high school, and because I actually think his books are pretty cool.  In fact, I’ll be ordering one for Elijah’s second birthday.

Furthermore, supporting small business (and its a local one, if you live in Denver, Phoenix or Chicago, the cities where the brothers who started the company live and run the business out of), is great for the environment and the economy.  You can rest assured that everything that goes into the books is totally independent and unique, from the author and illlustrators to the business model itself. 

Not only this, but Jeff (my friend) and his brothers are dedicated environmentalists, and they run their company on a very green platform.  All of their books are printed on 100% recycled paper and since each book is custom made, there is no wasted printing and inventory.  They work within the guidelines set forth by The Rainforest Alliance and the Forest Stewardship Counsel, and they are quick to point out that Jeff does not have a car (so the book’s author is even green in his personal life!).  Nor has he ever, that I’m aware of.  In high school, he spent a lot of the time tooling around with us in my friend’s mom’s minivan.  He also volunteers in a kids reading and writing program.  It won’t say so on the website, but Jeff also headed the Green Party at his college, and he recycles.

Check the books out.  I think you’ll enjoy them.

Who’s Who of Single Parents on the Web

Yeah, I’m not on the list.  Nor do I deserve to be, I don’t keep up with this blog enough.  But I thought I’d share the list with you, because I think its a great one.  I’ll be adding these blogs to my regular reading.

Who’s Who of Single Parents on the Web

Check it out!

Online Dating

Today I read this article on Gaiam Life about online dating.  I found it interesting, and liked the niche sites portion.

I kind of like online dating.  I don’t like the idea of meeting someone in a bar (it always makes me think of that scene in Cape Fear where Robert DiNiro bites off that chick’s cheek), and most of the social groups I’ve joined consist of either married moms or 50+ people, all of them very cool, but none of them am I interested in dating.  My church has no single guys my age, there used to be one, but he moved to Florida, and no way am I going to start looking for dates at work.  I don’t really want to date anyone in the military (I know too much!), and I don’t like the idea of potentially dating then breaking up with someone I work with.

That doesn’t leave me with too many other options for meeting people.  And in order to date, you have to meet people.

I find the biggest criticizers of online dating are chronically single people who take no action to try and meet anyone, or chronic daters, who simply pick up a bunch of one or two night stands at bars, then wonder why it never develops into a relationship.  I don’t think I should pay much attention to the judgements of people who don’t meet people at all, let alone online, nor should I pay much attention to people who keep doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Online dating really isn’t that new.  People have been posting personals for decades, until the invention of the internet, they did it in newspapers and magazines.  After my parents divorce, my father spent a lot of time answering personal ads in newspapers.  My mother posted an ad herself, and spent a lot of time weeding out the weirdos from the norms, then went on a lot of dates.  Some of them were more successful than others.  My mom also subscribed to Alaska Man Magazine (which still exists, but you’re going to have to google it, because if I type the website in at work, the Army Computer Nazis will swoop down on me).  Internet dating is no different.

I think online dating is a tool.  A means of meeting people.  And if you are so inclined, you should certainly try it.  I have some rules for internet dating though, that I’ve learned through trial and error, that I would like to share with you.

First, Myspace and Facebook are not dating sites.  I met my son’s biological father on Myspace.  Enough said, right?  No?  Well, the guy I dated before him (also a loser with no job, although at least he wasn’t an addict) I also met on Myspace.  I don’t know anyone who ever met anyone good on Myspace.  Leave the social networking sites to social networking.  If you’re wanting to date, go to sites where the other members are wanting the same thing.  That way there’s no confusion.

Rule number two, paid sites are better.  I’m not saying don’t ever use a free site, I’m just saying use a free site at your own risk.  Why?  Well first of all, a lot of the guys on free sites aren’t really looking to date, they are just looking to get laid.  People who are willing to pay to join a site are usually looking for a bigger commitment than a few  drinks and some sex.  After all, if they have money burning a hole in their pocket, and they just want to get laid, they can probably pick up a girl in a bar (probably one of those big critics of online dating I mentioned earlier) for cheaper than the cost of a dating site membership.  Second, guys on paid sites are more likely to have jobs.  Paid sites are a great way to weed out the jobless losers.

Finally, I agree with the above article about niche sites.  Match.com, Chemistry.com and eHarmony are all well and good, but finding someone you like on those sites can be like searching for a needle in a haystack.  I did Chemistry for a while last year, and I spent so much time weeding through Republicans that I gave up and did not renew my membership until just recently.  Match.com I think is even worse.  I did that when I got back from my deployment, and that was $40 down the drain, because I was so overwhelmed I didn’t even contact anyone (that being said, I have a friend who met her husband on Match.com and raves about it).

Then I found GreenSingles.com.  This sounded perfect to me, because all the people on the site were pretty much garunteed to have a lot of the same interests as me!  Unfortunately, in my area, most of the men on that site are well over 50, which is a little too old for me, but my quest for the perfect niche site continues.  In fact, I’m on a few.  There are niche sites for everything.  For religions, for hobbies, for political bents.  Seriously everything.  Start Googling.

As for the bigger sites, I guess having more people there can be a benefit.  If you’re on a site with 100,000 people, vs. a site with 100 people, you are definitely going to have more choices.  When picking a big site, remember there are two main differences, there are sites that pick matches for you based on the answers to a “personality profile” (Chemistry and eHarmony), and there are sites that allow you to search through all their members (Match and Yahoo).  I prefer a site where they choose matches for me, because I don’t have the patience to read profile after profile.  I don’t, however like eHarmony.  My mom was on that site for six months, and had major problems.  First, she was honest in her profile when she said that she was 6 feet tall and over weight, yet for whatever reason, the site kept matching her up with short men who said in their profile that they abosolutely could not date an overweight woman.  Furthermore (and this was a problem on Chemistry too), the site kept matching her up with Republicans, although she was quite clear that she is a Democrat.  I would think that political beliefs represent some of your “core values”, which eHarmony claims to match you by.  But apparently not.

Here are some sites I do like:

• Chemistry
• Green Singles
• Act For Love
• Gaia Soulmates
• Veggie Connections

As far as free sites go, I like OkCupid.

I am currently pretty active on Chemistry but not the other sites.  As one might expect, I have spoken to more people from Chemistry than I have from all the niche sites combined.  Does that mean I think Chemistry is a better choice?  No.  It just means I wish more people would seek out the niche sites rather than the big, faceless sites.  Niche sites automatically narrow the playing field for you, so you can weed out the people you wouldn’t ever be interested in more easily.  But, most people can’t afford memberships on multiple sites (God knows I can’t) so I understand if you just choose to go with the most popular choice.  Thats kind of what I did.

Things I’ll never do

O Solo Mama wrote her list of things she’ll never do, and I thought it was kind of nice.  It got me thinking about things I’ll never do.

I’ll never have a traditional, 4 year college experience.

I’ll never travel the Pan American Highway on a scooter.

I’ll never study abroad.

I’ll never live in the rain forests of South America (although I hope I’ll still visit them one day).

I’ll never be elected to political office (and thank God, really).

I’ll never be an NCO – okay, I might, but I really hope I’m not in that long.

I don’t want to say I’ll NEVER do a tour in the Peace Corps, but I’m willing to say I may not ever.

I will never have a prom-like experience.

I will never be a bum in a ski town for a year or two.

I will never be close with my father.

I will never be involved in a film production of something I wrote.

I will never get a sun tan.  No, seriously, I’m a red head.  I only burn.